Before I was a mom, I knew just how to be one. I knew exactly how my children would behave and how effectively I would discipline them. MY children would never be the ones you see in the grocery store running wild while the mother just stands there with a blank look on her face watching them - Wake up lady!- I would think. What kind of a mom are you??
Well here in the real world there are days that as a mother of three (4) I am that mom standing there while my kids run amuck. Although I have learned that most days I just try to avoid shopping with them altogether. That usually works better:)
But I have been focusing on part of the first sentence. Before I was a mom, I knew that I wanted to have an great time raising my kids, that I would interact with them and have fun with them, be all that my childhood lacked. I barely have any memories of my mother who passed away when I was 8. I knew for my own kids, I wanted to be present and make as many memories as I can.
Now with each child, my energy levels have dropped and more seems to be on our plate, but having a conversation the other night with some other mothers kind of is helping me refocus. (Which is hard these days as I have been in a fog for two weeks and found out yest I have an inner ear infection AND a sinus infection! yuck!)
Something my husband has commented on many times is now sinking in. That I always am in a hurry, I always am rushing myself, rushing the kids- Expecting more from everyone than I should. Yelling and stressing everyone out. Last night instead of helping at church, I dropped the kids off and I stayed home to rest with the baby. It hit me how little time I really spend with her. Just playing. She is always with me, but I couldn't remember the last time I just got on the floor, just me and her and played. What has become of me? I have turned into a schedule monster. Trying so hard to get everything done. Trying to stay on top of daily cleaning and running to appointments, playdates and other things we are involved with. The amount of yelling going on is not even necessary.
I thought about how I normally act on a night when we get home past bedtime. I usually rush everyone to bed without being that loving mommy I have set out to be. So last night, I had a snack ready, pajamas laid out and when I brought the kids home, I did everything I could to be patient with them. I didn't expect them to just shut down and go to sleep. I let them unwind without all the yelling and you know. It worked. I think I even got extra hugs and kisses before bed:)
Which made me think of this :
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
So my thing to be happy about today is that it is not to late for me to focus my prayer on helping me slow down . Without taking away from the things we like to do. That I can be more productive while still allowing some time to just be mommy. I am not saying I am going to just play all the time, just readjust -to discipline and direct more lovingly.
Be their ideal; let them follow the way you teach and live; be a pattern for them in your love, your faith, and your clean thoughts. 1 Timothy 4:12